Friday, March 27, 2009

Say What: Great Lines from Junk Cinema

"I'm a tramp! And who's to blame? My father!"-- Barbara Stanwyck from "Baby Face".

"This stinkin' swamp water stinks!"--Nardo Gang leader Marie Windsor from "Swamp Women".

"Did you ever see a peace officer in a corset?"--new sheriff Beverly Garland in "The Gunslinger".

"One thing's sure. Inspector Clay's dead. Murdered. And somebody's responsible!"--brilliant police officer surveying the crime scene in Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outer Space".

"Mary, you're never gonna be happy if you're gonna be sad! Now you've got nice teeth and you took two years of French. So why not try to see the bright side of things!"--Shirley Temple's best friend offers her some sage advice in "That Hagen Girl".

"You dirty, filthy, perverted monster! You're the meanest, cruelest, most loathsome thing thing I've ever met!"-- Carroll Baker gives George Peppard what for in "The Carpetbaggers".

"These ties serve no functional purpose. Mars got rid of them 50 years ago as a useless male vanity"--A Martian fashion victim from "Mars Needs Women".

"He tampered in God's domain"--Harvey B. Dunn reflects on Bela Lugosi's mad scientist tendencies in "Bride of the Monster".

"Yes! To be like the hu-man! To laugh! Feel! Want! Why are these things not in the plan?"--anguished Ro-Man from Phil Tucker's "Robot Monster".

"Flag on the moon. How did it get there?"--Coleman Francis' voice over from "The Beast of Yucca Flats".

"Bevare! Bevare! Bevare of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep! He eats little boys! Puppy dog tails! Big fat snails! Bevare! Take care! Bevare!"-- Bela Lugosi spouting off about something from Ed Wood's "Glen or Glenda?"

"They're more virulent than the Australian Brown Box Jelly Fish!"--Horrified scientist Henry Fonda reflecting on the killer bees headed our way in "The Swarm".

"What? Did you think we came in here to read?"--Ray Dennis Steckler's pal Harold's response when a sinister gypsy fortune teller asks if they want their fortunes told in "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-up Zombies".

"Aw, man, you're jivin' me! Look, man, I don't mind bein' a vampire and shit, but this really ain't hip!"--An apprentice vampire comments on the down side of his new line of work in "Scream, Blacula, Scream".

"You're like my own personal brand of heroin"--Smooth talking "Vegetarian Vampire" Edward Cullen in "Twilight".

"I don't care about your heart! Only this body and what it can do for me!"--Tori Spelling's vicious pimp in "Co-Ed Call Girl".

"My motor never runs down. Would you like to look under my hood?"--Tura Santana, psycho tramp ne plus ultra, from "Faster Pussy! Kill! Kill!"

"Oh! To hell with 'em! Let 'em droop!"--Sharon Tate is bored with her work out routine in "Valley of the Dolls".

"Yonder lies de palace of my father the Caliph"--Tony Curtis, the Bronx-bred Arabian prince in "The Prince Who Was a Thief".

"Oh, papa! I just wanted to be bad--as bad as could be!"-- Teen tramp Diane McBain explaining her life choices to her bewildered pop in "Claudelle Inglish".

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