Saturday, January 6, 2018

Short Takes: Welcome To The First Annual "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?" Awards!

Greetings, movie lovers.

Donald Trump plans to unveil his "Dishonest Media Awards" on Monday.

So I thought, "Hey, if the President of the United States can have his own awards, I can have my own awards, too!"

Thus, here are my "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?" awards for the nuttiest behavior (so far) from the Trump administration.

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Daughter Division, goes to Ivanka Trump, who claimed with a straight face that her father "was not a groper" and insisted that any claims he harassed women was merely a "media projection."

Ivanka Trump reacts to the question, "Does your father respect women?"

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Daddy Dearest Division, goes to Donald Trump, Jr, who, in wanting to teach his children about the evils of socialism, took half his daughter's Halloween candy. He then tweeted a picture of his three-year old daughter looking like she was about to cry. What a neat dad!

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Brother Division, goes to Eric Trump, who, in order to prove that the sketchy "Deep State" is real, tweeted that mysterious Big Brother Liberals told him to follow Barrack Obama, Michelle Obama and...Ellen Degeneres. Scary!

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", First Ex-Wife Division, goes Ivana Trump who, in her parenting memoir Raising Trump, stated she knew daughter Ivanka was really in love with hubby Jared Kushner because she was willing to convert to Judaism--and give up bacon and lobster,too.

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Second Ex-Wife and Daughter Division, goes to Marla Maples and Tiffany Trump, who, wanting to look their best at The Donald's inauguration, wanted hair and make-up artists to glam them up for free in exchange for the realms of priceless publicity doing so would supposedly generate.

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Insider on the Outs Division, goes to Steve Bannon, who insisted his power and influence were so great, he could elect "anti-establishment" Republicans to Congress. The most notorious of these was Alabama's Roy Moore, accused of stalking teenage girls while in his 30's. Most of Bannon's candidates lost.

Steve Bannon note to self: "My face hurts."

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Mix-and-Match Division, goes to Fox News' Sean Hannity, who has insisted he's not part of the media--even though he has a TV show, a radio show, writes editorials and has written several books. When his tactics and objectivity were questioned, Sean insists he's not a journalist, he's a "talk show host". Then he changes his mind and says he's "an opinion journalist". Make up your mind!

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Print Division, goes to US magazine, which printed a fawning cover-story on Ivanka Trump headlined "Why I Disagree With My Dad." The article, which was written without interviewing its subject, relied on previously published quotes to insist that Ivanka would always "balance love and loyalty" and "stand up for what was right", while attempting to advise her erratic dad. Incidentally, the US cover-story came out shortly after Trump pulled the US out of the Paris Climate Accords, a move the supposedly eco-friendly Ivanka was against.

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Print Division, Part 2, goes to--surprise!--US magazine, which printed another fawning cover-story, this time on Melania.  Published not long after the First Lady was tsk-tsked for wearing high heels as she boarded Air Force One to visit flood victims, US magazine insisted visiting the flood victims "broke her heart" and "changed (Melania's) life forever"...without, yet again, interviewing its subject.

While there is no reason to doubt that Ivanka and Melania are caring individuals, the US cover-stories appeared to be obvious, ham-fisted attempts to provide both the First Lady and First Daughter some positive spin amid a flurry of bad press--and perhaps curry favor with the Trumps. Note to US: leave the politics to the Washington Post and focus on the hanky-panky happening on "The Bachelor" set, OK?

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Land Speed Division, goes to Anthony Scaramucci, who replaced the hapless Sean Spicer as WH spokesperson. Even though Anthony went around telling everybody how much he "loved the president", he was fired 10 days later. Love is strange, isn't it? (Although that nasty interview he gave dissing the Trump family probably didn't help, come to think of it.).

The "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?", Pot Calling the Kettle Black Division, goes to Rupert Murdoch, media tycoon of questionable judgement and standards, for calling Mr. Trump a "f@%&!ing idiot" seconds after speaking with the President on immigration issues. Well, it takes one to know one!

Rupert Murdoch:"My face needs a nap."

Hope you enjoyed my "Are You Kitten Me Right Meow?" awards! Until next time, Save The Movies!

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