Saturday, September 12, 2020

Would You Take Advice From A Kardashian?

"Strike a pose...": The Kardashian sisters do what they do best...nothing!

Hey, kids!

Have you heard the latest?

After 14 years, "Keeping up with the Kardashians" has decided to end production.

Who knew "cancel culture" could have an upside?!

So I thought it might be fun to do a list of "life lessons" from the flashy five, similar to the "Advice from a (insert animal, vegetable or mineral)" lists you can find on Pinterest.

And away we go!

Sex tapes are a great way to launch your "career".

Kim Kardashian became "famous" after her sex tape with  an ex-cuddlemate was released. She then cut a deal to receive a percentage of the profits from the porn company that released it.

Having healthy physical, emotional and social boundaries is for losers (it's so un-chic).

Who needs an education when you have big breasts!

Mother does not always know best--especially their mother.

Who needs a soul if you have a brand!

If you ever wanted to dress like Peg Bundy from "Married...with Children", the Kardashian Kollection is for you!

Invading your own privacy is fun!

If you pay enough, they will your bar, restaurant, boutique, resort, party, opening--you name it.

You can never have enough Botox. Or lip fillers. Or plastic surgery. Or breast augmentation. Or...

Money can buy you everything (but class).

Beauty is truly only skin deep.

Kylie Jenner having a brain freeze.

You can ever have enough "Facebook Friends"...especially if real people won't hang out with you.

Producer Ryan Seacrest is the Author of all Lies.

A gal should marry for love and great ratings.


Real Kardashian Quotes to Live By:

"Why is there always traffic?"--Kris Kardashian

"This year is, like, the year of realizing stuff."--Kylie Kardashian

"Don't know who you are. Don't care."--Khole Kardashian

"This is the exact reason I don't like pets: they die."--Kourtney Kardashian

"Holding your pee is no way to live life."--Kendall Kardashian

'Nuff said.

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