Saturday, September 10, 2022

Now, An Update From The "Truth Is Stranger Than Fiction" Department

"Would you believe...": Trump has endless excuses about how those top secret documents ended up at Mar-A-Lago.

As you probably know, the FBI raided Donald Trump's Florida resort/home Mara-A-Lago in early August to retrieve top secret and classified documents.

Many of Trump's devoted fans have given some interesting answers as to why he did this. For example:

*Trump had already declassified the documents because, you know, presidents can do that.

*President Biden arranged the FBI raid to distract people about Hunter Biden's laptop mess.

*Mr. Biden rescinded Trump's ability to declassify documents without telling him.

"Don't worry, be happy": A peek inside the secure room Trump created for the top secret docs he took.

*Trump had a secure room at Mar-A-Lago and was even getting more locks for it!

*Trump was writing (!) a biography/autobiography and he needed the docs for "research".

As the scandal has grown and deepened, the excuses have continued to pile up. To inject a little light hearted humor into this very serious situation, I present my own reasons why Trump took the documents.

 In no particular order, they are:

*Disgusted by all the typos, run-on sentences and misspelled words, Trump took the documents home to correct the errors.

*He was using the backside of the docs for his high stakes "Tic Tac Toe" games with Eric.

A sample of Trump's Origami skills.

*Ever since Trump took up Origami, he's needed tons of paper to do his projects.

*He was trying to "save some trees" by recycling the documents as copy paper for Mar-A-Lago.

*Hey, Trump can't read, remember? So how was he suppose to know they were top secret?!

*Know that secure room Trump had at Mar-A-Lago? Trump was in the process of buying more locks, but every time he went to Home Depot, they were sold out. Not his fault!

*Hillary Clinton had top secret docs on her private email! What about that, tough guy?!

"I know what I am, but are you?: Hillary and Hannity face off.

*Seriously? Like you've never taken anything from work?

*The National Archives are run by a bunch of prissy, pushy geeks who've been totally unreasonable about Trump returning these documents! I mean, they've been nagging him for, like, a year! Geez, what's their problem? Sad!

*Because Melania used up all the tissue paper, what was Trump suppose to use to make sure his clothes didn't wrinkle while he packed them?

* You mean Presidents of the United States don't get to keep all that top secret stuff? What a rip-off!

As this investigation continues, expect even more crazy reasons why highly classified and top secret documents were at Mar-A-Lago. Stay tuned!

And save the movies, too.

"They're mine! They're all mine!": Trump explains why Mar-A-Lago had top secret documents lying around.

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